I figured I would give the opposotion equal time after my last blog.
1. Feeling the baby move. I know it’s cliché but it really is the coolest thing about being pregnant, even if my husband thinks it’s creepy.
2. Having an excuse to take it easy. Naps, heavy lifting, having an excuse not to go somewhere because you’re not feeling well will be missed.
3. Only having one kid to keep under control. God help me on this one.
4. Non-leaky boobs. I really don’t need an excuse for extra padding. My girls are big enough.
5. Healing quickly. It always amazes me how quickly my cuts, scabs and blemishes heal when I’m pregnant. I'm like that cheerleader on Heroes. Lord knows my c-section incision and pain will not go away that fast.
6. Thicker hair. On my head anyway.
7. Sleeping peacefully. For the most part, as long as you exclude getting up to pee five times every night and rolling over 20 times so that my shoulder doesn’t fall asleep.
8. Maternity pants. Pants with elastic waists are so comfy.
9. Looking fat and not being judged by skinny people. This is the one time where you can work a big belly and not have the Judgy Judgersons give you a look of disgust.
10. Not having my period. My doctor has advised against endometrial ablation along with my tubal ligation, despite my asking, “If you’re going to close the factory, what is the point of continuing to send smoke out the smokestack?”
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Ten Things I Can't Wait To Do When This Baby Stuff Is All Over
1. Try Zumba. It looks like so much fun! And I will need to work off the baby weight.
2. Drink a big glass of sangria. Oddly enough, sangria was the last alcoholic drink that I had.
3.Wear my wedding rings again. I’ve been wearing a fake on my swollen fingersfor a few months.
4. Eat a hoagie. I’m too paranoid about this whole listeria thing.
5. Breathe normally. I’m now in that uncomfortable stage where my lungs are being crushed, causing a lot of fatigue.
6. Finding a guilty pleasure late night show on TV to watch while nursing. Last time, I learned a lot from the Trivial Pursuit game show at 4 AM.
7. Drink a giant iced tea from the kiosk place in the lower level of the Lehigh Valley Mall. I’m thinking pineapple tea would be good.
8. Whiten my teeth. Despite avoiding caffeine, they are turning yellow.
9. Stop answering the question, "How are you feeling?" I do feel kind of crappy but I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear about it.
10. Sleep on my stomach. No more pins and needles on my shoulder, unless I choose to do some acupunture.
2. Drink a big glass of sangria. Oddly enough, sangria was the last alcoholic drink that I had.
3.Wear my wedding rings again. I’ve been wearing a fake on my swollen fingersfor a few months.
4. Eat a hoagie. I’m too paranoid about this whole listeria thing.
5. Breathe normally. I’m now in that uncomfortable stage where my lungs are being crushed, causing a lot of fatigue.
6. Finding a guilty pleasure late night show on TV to watch while nursing. Last time, I learned a lot from the Trivial Pursuit game show at 4 AM.
7. Drink a giant iced tea from the kiosk place in the lower level of the Lehigh Valley Mall. I’m thinking pineapple tea would be good.
8. Whiten my teeth. Despite avoiding caffeine, they are turning yellow.
9. Stop answering the question, "How are you feeling?" I do feel kind of crappy but I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear about it.
10. Sleep on my stomach. No more pins and needles on my shoulder, unless I choose to do some acupunture.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It's Not All Wine And Roses. Sometimes, It's Just Whine And Bitch
This is going to sound like a big ol’ pity party, so feel free to skip this one. I just have to vent and move on.
I feel stuck. I’m tired and lonely. I sit in my house all day with my baby, playing Peek A Boo and watching Sesame Street videos. When I do leave the house, I’m exhausted by the time I get myself ready, the baby ready, pack the diaper bag and load the car. Just the thought of it makes me want to crawl into bed and take a nap.
I feel very isolated. I’ve made plans with friends several times over the last few weeks and they’ve been cancelled or changed without so much as a phone call. Then when I ask what’s going off, I’m told that the plans were changed to another time that already took place. I swear I’m not this pathetic around other people. I don’t know anyone in my area. I’ve tried to look for mom’s groups but there’s nothing around here. The ones that I’ve found either have very rigid rules for participation that I can’t commit to in this condition or they don’t meet all that often. I was able to join one of the latter but so far, in the three months that I’ve belonged, they’ve only met once to discuss a book that I have no interest in reading.
I could drop the baby off with my mother-in-law and go off on my own somewhere. But I’d still have to do all the prep work to get there. She also has her own stuff going on right now. I don’t want to interfere. And where would I go anyway? Plus, I always have some anxiety dropping her off, not to mention the mommy guilt.
My days have been mundane. I have no good stories to tell. I struggle to find fodder for this blog. I don’t mean to sound so “woe is me.” I’ll be too busy soon enough. So I guess I’ll just go back on You Tube and watch the Elmo’s Ducks video for the five thousandth time today.
I feel stuck. I’m tired and lonely. I sit in my house all day with my baby, playing Peek A Boo and watching Sesame Street videos. When I do leave the house, I’m exhausted by the time I get myself ready, the baby ready, pack the diaper bag and load the car. Just the thought of it makes me want to crawl into bed and take a nap.
I feel very isolated. I’ve made plans with friends several times over the last few weeks and they’ve been cancelled or changed without so much as a phone call. Then when I ask what’s going off, I’m told that the plans were changed to another time that already took place. I swear I’m not this pathetic around other people. I don’t know anyone in my area. I’ve tried to look for mom’s groups but there’s nothing around here. The ones that I’ve found either have very rigid rules for participation that I can’t commit to in this condition or they don’t meet all that often. I was able to join one of the latter but so far, in the three months that I’ve belonged, they’ve only met once to discuss a book that I have no interest in reading.
I could drop the baby off with my mother-in-law and go off on my own somewhere. But I’d still have to do all the prep work to get there. She also has her own stuff going on right now. I don’t want to interfere. And where would I go anyway? Plus, I always have some anxiety dropping her off, not to mention the mommy guilt.
My days have been mundane. I have no good stories to tell. I struggle to find fodder for this blog. I don’t mean to sound so “woe is me.” I’ll be too busy soon enough. So I guess I’ll just go back on You Tube and watch the Elmo’s Ducks video for the five thousandth time today.
Friday, March 12, 2010
You Can't Join My Play Group If...You Get All Up In A Pregnant Woman's Business
How to recognize them: If you’re pregnant, they’re watching you, staring at your every move. And they never know when to shut the fuck up.
Frequently heard saying: “You should drink eight ounces of water every hour.”
“You’re not going to drink a Diet Coke, are you? There’s caffeine and artificial sweeteners in there!”
“Don’t put that hot dog in your mouth!”
“Slow down! Walking too fast is going to get your heart rate and blood pressure up!”
“That’s too heavy! You can’t lift it!”
Why they bug: They’re not doctors. Their advice is not based on any medical authority whatsoever. And how I treat my body and my pet fetus is none of their business. Eight ounces of water every hour amounts to 192 ounces of water a day. I would pee every three minutes. Artificial sweeteners and caffeine are fine in small amounts. Hot dogs are okay as long as they’ve been cooked well. Getting your heart rate up is perfectly fine as long as your temperature is not also going up. In fact, exercise is good for you and will actually keep your blood pressure down. It’s okay to lift 50 pounds up to 20 weeks and roughly 20 or so pounds after 20 weeks. You won’t miscarry. Lifting heavy things is more of a concern for a pregnant woman’s back and balance than it is for causing early labor. But, if you want to carry this for me, maybe I shouldn’t stop you. I’m tired from walking too fast...to get away from you.
Their retort: “You think you have all the answers, don’t you? Just wait until you go into labor early!”
My response: Yeah, I do. Do you want to know why? I asked my doctor. She graduated in the top 10% of her class at med school. Did you? She isn’t concerned about any of these things. I can’t imagine why you would be.
Frequently heard saying: “You should drink eight ounces of water every hour.”
“You’re not going to drink a Diet Coke, are you? There’s caffeine and artificial sweeteners in there!”
“Don’t put that hot dog in your mouth!”
“Slow down! Walking too fast is going to get your heart rate and blood pressure up!”
“That’s too heavy! You can’t lift it!”
Why they bug: They’re not doctors. Their advice is not based on any medical authority whatsoever. And how I treat my body and my pet fetus is none of their business. Eight ounces of water every hour amounts to 192 ounces of water a day. I would pee every three minutes. Artificial sweeteners and caffeine are fine in small amounts. Hot dogs are okay as long as they’ve been cooked well. Getting your heart rate up is perfectly fine as long as your temperature is not also going up. In fact, exercise is good for you and will actually keep your blood pressure down. It’s okay to lift 50 pounds up to 20 weeks and roughly 20 or so pounds after 20 weeks. You won’t miscarry. Lifting heavy things is more of a concern for a pregnant woman’s back and balance than it is for causing early labor. But, if you want to carry this for me, maybe I shouldn’t stop you. I’m tired from walking too fast...to get away from you.
Their retort: “You think you have all the answers, don’t you? Just wait until you go into labor early!”
My response: Yeah, I do. Do you want to know why? I asked my doctor. She graduated in the top 10% of her class at med school. Did you? She isn’t concerned about any of these things. I can’t imagine why you would be.
Monday, March 8, 2010
The Sunshine Bores The Daylights Out Of Me
It’s such a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining. Although the air is somewhat crisp, no more than a light jacket is required for comfort. After a harsh winter, a day like this should be welcomed, right?
Wrong.
All I want to do is take a nap today. I got up early to clean the house. Spent the morning keeping the baby out of trouble and working on her physical therapy. She is now exhausted and napping contently in her crib. And I’m beat. I want a nap, too.
I know I should be out taking advantage of this gorgeous weather. I feel this horrible internal pressure telling me to not put on my jammies and get under the covers. I should take her to the park when she wakes up. Or, at the very least, I should go shopping or something. I hear a million people telling me that I should get out of the house.
Beautiful days and the pressure they bring are evil. People always say things that make me feel like I need to get some sun. Phooey. I hate that pressure. The sun makes my eyes teary. And it’s not that warm outside. I like being a pale recluse with insomnia. I am the thing that goes bump in the night. But I know it’s not good for my kid to not get fresh air. So I will suck it up and go to a park or to a store. I will take her out in public and pray that she does not have a diva like meltdown.
Tomorrow. It’s still going to be nice out, right?
Wrong.
All I want to do is take a nap today. I got up early to clean the house. Spent the morning keeping the baby out of trouble and working on her physical therapy. She is now exhausted and napping contently in her crib. And I’m beat. I want a nap, too.
I know I should be out taking advantage of this gorgeous weather. I feel this horrible internal pressure telling me to not put on my jammies and get under the covers. I should take her to the park when she wakes up. Or, at the very least, I should go shopping or something. I hear a million people telling me that I should get out of the house.
Beautiful days and the pressure they bring are evil. People always say things that make me feel like I need to get some sun. Phooey. I hate that pressure. The sun makes my eyes teary. And it’s not that warm outside. I like being a pale recluse with insomnia. I am the thing that goes bump in the night. But I know it’s not good for my kid to not get fresh air. So I will suck it up and go to a park or to a store. I will take her out in public and pray that she does not have a diva like meltdown.
Tomorrow. It’s still going to be nice out, right?
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